John Sizemore and Pat Dettellis have been called the "Siskel and Ebert" of Doogie's 5-Yak Reviews (John being the hairier, non-dead Siskel). Having met and dated online before finally deciding to marry out of necessity (no one else could stand having them around overnight), they have a natural antipathy towards people in general and each other in particular. Born and bred in Maryland and New Jersey respectively, they now live midway between in-laws, somewhere deep in the mountains of northern Pennsylvania.

John and Pat can be reached via email at mewster@yahoo.com.